June 21, 2017.
It’s a few minutes to midnight. I’m seated on the toilet bowl, doing the number two. I’m holding my phone on my left, scrolling through my Twitter timeline – because toilet and Twitter go well together. Fact. As I go about my business, I stumble upon a heartbreaking tweet.
In said tweet, a Twitter user relays how, sometimes ago, she fell deeply in love with someone. A feeling that, lucky for here, was mutual – because unreciprocated love is the absolute worse. Sadly, these two never got the chance to see their love blossom because of issues with genotype. I lingered on that tweet for longer than I normally would an average tweet. I just couldn’t bring myself to move easily past the tweet. In that moment, my heart sunk and my fears came rushing to the fore.
This issue of genotype worries me a lot, seeing that I am AS – I envy all you AA people like!. People with the AS genotype always have to proceed with extreme caution. AAs enjoy a certain comfort. Sometimes I feel like the importance of genotype in determining what relationships will and won’t be is just unfair. Attraction, compatibility and the likes are what should matter on the checklist. It just doesn’t seem fair that something, such as our genotypes, that we have absolutely no control whatsoever over should be able to make or break our relationships. Even if every other criterion on the checkbox has been met, genotype has the power to come hinder progress. Honestly, it scares me whenever I reflect on it. Having to be conscious of genotype can be very tedious.
Which is why I want to ask for a friend – seriously, I’m doing this for a friend. When is the right time to find out if genotype would be an issue in a relationship? Is it something that should come up on the first date? Do you activate detective mode the moment you sense the slightest feeling of attraction? Or do you just make a habit out of finding out the genotype of every acquaintance of the opposite sex? Waiting for the day it will come in handy? I’ve seen cases of people who would have been wonderful together – like toilet and Twitter that don’t have genotype issues, both AA– going their separate ways because of the incompatibility of their genotypes. It breaks my heart every time.
Even though I’m still very much single – and plan to remain so for a while – I love love. I love seeing relationships thrive. I love seeing people grow from being complete strangers to adorable couples. It’s just such a joy to behold. Love is a beautiful thing – D’banj wasn’t joking people! But, sadly, genotype just loves acting as a stumbling Great Wall of China (GWOC because ‘block’ just wouldn’t suffice here). Running interference between people who would have made gorgeous lovebirds.
Some might fault involved parties for not doing their due diligence on time. But, you have to remember that, there are cases where people weren’t actually actively pursuing a romantic relationship. Where their original intentions were not to end up as soulmates. Cases, where parties involved, were only looking to build genuine platonic friendships. Nothing more. For such people, it makes no sense to fault them for not bothering about genotype. But then life happens. Attraction sets in unexpectedly. And, what was intended to be platonic friendship begins to show proclivities of becoming more. It’s not always a case of people being insouciant. We know how these things happen na. Even if you’ve only seen it in a film. You, at least, have an idea.
That letting go in such situations is the non-negotiable option is a real bummer. It is the right, smart and safe thing to do. Even though I’m sure it is the last thing anyone in such a situation would actually want to do. It, ostensibly, cannot be a pleasant experience. Be reminded that these people now know each other so well. They have nurtured a friendship from the group up. So the connection we are talking of here is not something that can be understood on the surface. It is almost as if these people have been dating all the while but were unaware of it. And now genotype will now show up and be like, “I’m sorry lovebirds but there is no way here.” Ei! Kuku kill me.
Anyways, what me I sha know that when it is my time to shine, I’ll shine. Amoshine People! Nothing can stop me when it is my time. Not even the dreaded genotype.