Toke Makinwa is no stranger to causing a stir in the Nigerian online space. Hence, it was no surprise when I logged in my Twitter this morning to news that Toke Makinwa had done it again. Permit me to say, Nigerian Twitter are the easiest to rile up. Y’all got zero chill. This time, Toke Makinwa got on Nigerian Twitter’s nerve when she, innocently, said she wouldn’t take men who do WhatsApp calls serious.
One would have expected her opinion to only anger the male enclave. But, surprisingly, even females came for her. It was such a wawu. What I have to say about this? Well, she, like every other person, has a right to her personal opinion. If it works for her, fine.
And, yes, I do agree with Toke Makinwa on some levels. Reason being that, traditional thinking largely deems WhatsApp calls as casual and restricts it to particular arrangements. For example, if it’s necessary you call, you wouldn’t call a company you are seeking employment from via WhatsApp. Direct voice calls are regarded as the appropriate medium for such exchanges.
Likewise, in relationships, there are mediums of communication that are considered formal, casual and way too casual. The appropriateness of each medium depends highly on how far and well the relationship has grown. WhatsApp calls are on the casual list. They are reserved for parties who have attained a certain degree of intimacy. So, on this level, it is understandable that Toke says she wouldn’t take you serious if you do WhatsApp calls. Maybe she was referring to people who haven’t reached that degree of intimacy yet. People who haven’t done enough to be drafted into the zone that affords them that luxury.
However, I disagree, in love, with Toke Makinwa on more levels than I do agree with her. With that said, here are a few of the reasons why I disagree with Toke on this one.
Relationships Thrive When Effort Is Appreciated.
Listen, guys, whatever the platform, you should appreciate that a person consciously puts in effort to talk to you. There are people who can afford to call you all day using their airtime but don’t. And when you ask such people why they failed to call, they quote the ‘busy’ excuse. Truth is, most times, these people aren’t really that busy. They don’t just have you at heart. You’re not that important to them. Now, here comes this person who has you at heart and consciously puts in effort to talk to you. Yet, you’d rather bash than appreciate him because, WhatsApp? Come on!
Medium Of Contact Shouldn’t Be A Yardstick For Judging Genuinty Of Interest
That a man calls you on WhatsApp doesn’t mean he is not taking you seriously. What if he is going through a financially torrid time but just so desperately wants to speak to you? Shouldn’t it count for something that even in the midst of his troubles he still has you at heart? Whether a man calls or not should be the appropriate yardstick. Not the platform via which he calls. Don’t be quick to conclude that a man I ‘cheap’ because of repeated WhatsApp calls. There might be more to it. Plus, this is Nigeria, Data isn’t necessarily cheap as such. So…
Okay, here is the cheeky one… you ready?
Time Is Money
Isn’t that what they say? So, if time is really money – which, for the sake of this post I’m arguing really is – then, if a person calls you via WhatsApp, he is still spending money. Maybe indirectly, but, nonetheless… money is being spent.
Jokes aside now, time, as opposed to money, is really valuable. You should consider that this guy is actually sacrificing time to talk to you. (Trust me, guys have a lot of productive, likewise unproductive, things they do with their time.) This guy could have settled for a session of FIFA. But, he decided to call you up instead. If not for anything, appreciate him for making time out to contact you.
Wrapping This Up
You’ll agree with me that this rule mostly applies to those who are still navigating the dreaded friend zone. I find it that most times excuses like this only pop up when you are trying to push someone away. The moment you step into the comfort zone, such rules no longer apply.
We can argue all day about what is right and what is not and not come to a consensus. But, one thing I’m certain of is this. When you find ‘The One,’ you wouldn’t be bothered that he calls via WhatsApp. Even if he chooses telepathy, you still wouldn’t make a fuss. All that will make absolutely no difference to you. All you’ll care about is that you get to keep in touch with you honey bunny.
So, WhatsApp or not, you should appreciate that a man has you at heart and puts in conscious effort to keep in touch with you. But, please, don’t listen to me. What do I know?
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