Sometimes ago, a friend of mine asked if I was ever sexually abused as a child, my response was no. Not because I wasn’t actually abused as a child, but for reason(s) beyond me, I felt quite uncomfortable admitting it. In fact, mine occurred with two sisters – on a lighter note, guess who’s experienced a threesome? Male child sexual abuse is one form of sexual abuse society hardly ever talks about. I find this silence really worrying. Is it that we consider sexual abuse for the male child to be not so big of a deal? Or, is the silence because the instances and ramifications of abuse for the girl child trumps it? What about those female sexual predators, are their actions, unlike those of their male counterparts, to be overlooked?
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Please, don’t get me wrong, I’m not writing this as a male chauvinist looking to knock a feminine cause down. I’m writing simply as a concerned, affected and, “vulnerable-by-future-association” member of society. I desire a daughter myself, and God knows I wouldn’t want her having the awful experience of child sexual abuse. But I don’t wish the same for the son I desire to have, either. And I believe we can crusade against both evils simultaneously. I don’t think the chasm of the male-female divide should be allowed room in our fight against child sexual abuse. The fight against child sexual abuse can, and should, be gender inclusive, it shouldn’t be one that runs on gender delineated tracks. Sadly, that seems to be the present reality of things. Truth is, child sexual abuse for both sexes are cancers, and neither one of it should be underemphasized.
The danger male child sexual abuse poses to society are too malignant for us to be quiet about it. Being inappropriately exposed to these sexual experiences prematurely sells these victims a perverse sexual orientation. It feeds them with the wrong and dangerous mindset that sex is really no big deal. I’m of the opinion that men with such experiences are more likely to objectify rather than dignify women. Why? From an impressionable age, the seed of that mindset had been planted in their subconscious. I’m not trying to justify rape here, but I believe these experiences also significantly contribute to instances of rape. This early exposure and access to sex causes for a sense of sexual entitlement, one that drives the rape mentality. Once again, I’m not making an excuse for rapists, only outlining the dangers inherent in male child sexual abuse.
I had this discussion with a friend, and what he said dazed me. Also a victim of sexual abuse as a child himself, he said at some point in his adult life he discovered that most of the sexual acts he found both appealing and gratifying as an adolescent were actually things his abuser made him experiment with. Most males with such experiences tend to build on the knowledge as they grow. This experience subconsciously leaves them with a thirst that needs to be quenched, an itch that needs to be scratched in the form of sexual urges. And as they seek to satisfy these urges, most of them, unsurprisingly, end up becoming a menace to society. It is like a wound that festers over time to a point where it becomes discomforting to even those around.
I believe victory in the fight against male child sexual abuse is equally victory for the female cause, and vice-versa. A lesser number of sexually abused male children will likely translate to fewer males with the perverse sexual orientation that causes for a sense of sexual entitlement common to sexual predators. And, you’ll agree with me that, the lesser the numerical strength of the opposition, the higher the chances of victory. I feel our society will be all the better for it if we start paying more attention to the fight against male child sexual abuse. All I’m asking for is a gender inclusive crusade against sexual abuse of children.